Exes and Whys

Exes and Whys

I promise you everything you go through happens for a reason.

So for the past several weeks, I have been helping out a friend who, in her words, was blind-sided by a man that she is very much in love with. So she came to me to vent and to get advice on how to move on. While she talked to me, I saw my situation with my unnamed ex (and yes, I’ve decided he will remain nameless….for reasons.) play out to the letter. I knew exactly what she was going through and how she was feeling. It wasn’t that long ago that I was going though those motions. On the days where she “said” she was okay, I knew she wasn’t. The day he got engaged to his girlfriend of 6 weeks, I listened to her hurt. Even though my ex isn’t engaged, I know he’s in a relationship to the woman who will eventually become his wife. I connected with that pain. While she questioned everything about the aftermath of their failed relationship, I detected the destructive pattern she was about to develop and talked her through and out of it. She’s in the thick of it, and it’s up to her if she comes out of it.

In helping her, I was able to help myself. Where she is, I was. It was amazing to see how far I’ve really come with closing the door on my past. Seeing your growth; having some perspective about yourself is really empowering from me. I have a long way to go, but damn if I’m not the same person I used to be. And it’s dope to see that your words, your experience is helping someone else find the strength to pick up and move on with their life. In fact, it was my words that gave her the extra push to find a new job and move to another state.

No experience is unique. Someone, somewhere has been through what you’re going through. Someone, somewhere is going through what you have gone through. I encourage you to share your story. There are lives that only you (yes, YOU) can touch. And if you’re in a situation and asking yourself, “Why me?” It’s simple: someone, one day, needs to hear it.

Free Your Mind…..

and your ass will follow. At least that’s what George Clinton once prophetically said. During my morning meditation, I was focused on releasing fear from my heart. Funny, the fear that I needed to release was all in my mind. Our mind is a twisted little bastard. With love, of course. The mind will at times (at least me anyway) imagine up a situation to protect ourselves. Like a “in case of an emergency” type of thing. The problem is, the threat isn’t there. In fact, the threat never exist. Still, our mind prepares us for it. So we stay stuck in a situation that hasn’t even happen. It’s natural. Totally natural for your mind to want to protect your heart. But sometimes, it’s okay to tell your mind to chill….that the heart isn’t always wrong or irrational. This song is really my heart’s song. Because whatever you do, don’t funk with my groove.

Lessons From A Tree

Hope you got a minute, because I want to share with you a story about a tree.

So there was this tree who was proud of his leaves. He provided shade in the summer to people who were hot. He provided loose branches for birds to build nests and keep out of the rain. The tree, like all the others, were so proud of his bright, colorful leaves. When the season changed, he loved the bright orange of his leaves. Then, he could feel Winter coming. He looked around and saw the other leaves dropping their leaves; becoming bare. The tree, knowing how harsh and unforgiving the winter can be, held on to his leaves.

“I’m not going through another season of cold. I like my leaves. They feel good. They look good on me. I’m keeping them.”

So Winter came and the tree held on to his leaves, while the other trees were bare. The cold winds blew. The snow fell. The tree held on to his leaves for shelter. “Stupid trees should’ve held on like I did.” he smirked. Soon, the weather started to change. The bare trees were beginning to grow new buds. The tree looked around and then looked down. The leaves that he held on to were dead and crumbled. He did not sprout any new buds like the other trees. His old leaves were in the way. He sobbed, realizing that if he had only let go of the old leaves, he could’ve had a season of new leaves and new memories. Instead, he remained bare.

Hope you learned as much as I did from a tree. Happy Spring Cleaning!

One. A. M.

I’m awake when I should be sleep.

I’m crying when I should feel at peace.

I’m stuck.

I really felt that my life was moving in the right direction, so why am I here? Maybe literally, but more so metaphorically. The threats of layoffs has made my job an extremely hostile environment. I’m not particularly phased by this, but somehow I’m made to feel bad that I don’t reside in hysteria and panic. So I become the whipping child. At home, I look at these people and see not one change. Some days, it seems like I can’t even breathe without causing an argument. I get called names that I’m not and accused of things I’ve never did. Again, I’m the whipping child.

So why? Why am I still here? Is it a fear of the unknown? Can’t be. I’ve been unsure before. Is it a fear of leaving the familiar? Could be. Truth is, I’ve learned how to deal with difficult people and just “get by”. I endure being bullied and picked on and hear people call me “strong” for staying. I hold on to the idea that better is coming. My time will come.

Maybe my time is realizing that what I’m enduring isn’t good enough. Maybe the strength I was looking for, was the notion that it’s time to move on. People can’t accept you? Move on. Work getting too crazy? Move on.

It’s time I start moving. Less metaphorically and more literally.