Saturday Sitdown Vol. 5

Source: imbd.com
Source: imbd.com

 

Ever hear about a show and deep down you have all the intentions on watching it, but never get around to it?  Then when you decide to finally sit down and watch it, you find out it’s been cancelled?  Well, that’s what this show has been for me.  Lucky for me, they have all 26 episodes on Netflix…and I’m so glad they do!  This is a really hilarious show that I have decided to binge watch because that’s been the power of Netflix over me: once I find a sitcom that I really like, I can’t help to watch it all in one sitting (I’m looking at you, Orange Is The New Black).  The opening of Season 2 really grabbed my attention.  One of the characters, June, wanted James Van Der Beek (playing himself) to do a Dawson’s Creek reunion, which he ultimately agrees with.  When she calls her old friends about the reunion, they proceed to tell her about how they’ve moved on with their lives.  Her friends are married with successful jobs, while June has lost everything; so I instantly clicked.  But it was what the other main character, Chloe said to June while she was feeling down about how her friend’s lives had moved on while hers seemed to be falling to pieces.  She said:

 

Screw your friends………the point is, their stories are already written.  Dude, your story is already starting!

 

It made me think a lot about some acquaintances that have shared with me their stories of how they felt all of their friends were more successful.  It made me think of all the people that I’ve personally known that has had to start over from scratch after losing everything.  Like June.  Like me.   The beauty in life not going exactly as planned is that you get to go down another path.  You get to re-write your story!  Call me optimistic, but I don’t mind that my life crumbled anymore. All of my immediate friends may be married, engaged, or having babies right now, but I’m discovering what I want out of this life.  That’s their story and I’ve finally become comfortable with not having to read their stories before I go to bed at night.  I can just write my own!   The struggle for me has been not putting a time frame on it.  This has been a 5 year process and I’m still in it.  Still learning.  Still growing. Still figuring out what works for me.   So if you feel that everyone else seems to have it “together” more than you just remember this:  your story is just starting.   Now, get to writing!

Purgatory

I heard a voice last week.

 

It was a typical day at work for me and I was doing my usual multi-tasking: updating a spreadsheet while listening to my friend on the phone receiver vent about her job and home life.  It’s a routine that I’m far too familiar with, so I know how to navigate.  Besides, if it wasn’t my friend calling me to vent, it was a co-worker or a passerby who just needed a comfortable space to just let everything out and go.  So as I was typing and listening, everything suddenly becomes white noise to me.  Then the voice becomes very loud and clear.   You know who was big on listening to the voices?

Oprah

 

Oprah would always say that your life speaks to you in whispers and it is up to us to hear them.  I’ve been sitting and waiting to hear from my life for the past few months.  I’m not complaining because I enjoy each and every moment of my life.  I smile everyday.  I laugh everyday.  I’m grateful every single day.  But deep down, it seems that I’m stuck in a purgatory.  I’m not coming or going.  I’m not horrible or extraordinary.   For months, I have felt like I’m stuck in the middle; waiting for my next move.  I tell my friends about it, and they’ve all chalked it up to me being overworked and “needing a vacation.”   I could use one, but I felt that wasn’t really the issue.   A vacation is the surface, and I’m all about getting to the source.  But last week, my life decided to whisper to me.

 

It’s time for you to go. 

Safe or Great?

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As I try to catch up on work professionally….and organize a plan personally…this message is like a gentle reminder for me. “Safe” isn’t a bad word, but some have made it synonymous with “failure”, “complacency”, and “laziness”. That’s not always true. Safe is familiarity, comfort, and security. Safe is a guarantee. I relied on “safe” heavy.

Then “safe” started to not be enough for me. I wanted something greater than “safe”. I wanted “risks” and “uncertainty”. I wanted (and am constantly on a journey of) what’s on the other side of “safe”. I played it safe my whole life and still lost it all. So why not go on and stray away from my safety zone? Let’s see what “great” has to offer.