This morning, I received a rejection letter…..and it was the best thing that’s ever happened to me!
I learned my lesson. I wasn’t going to let another opportunity pass me by this year. So last week, I saw an opportunity to do a fellowship for an online travel website. I was focused, I meditated daily, and filled myself up with enough affirmations to publish a book. I kept telling myself “This time around, I won’t punk out.”
Then I read the application. And found myself ready to punk out.
I didn’t run from the feeling, I actually ran towards it. I was intimidated; they were looking for a legit writer, where I felt that I wasn’t. The questionnaire was personal and made me think deep. So I took a deep breath and just answered straight from my heart. And let me tell you, the words just flowed from my fingertips. I answered each question with ease and a confidence that was startling, but welcomed. I knew that I wasn’t qualified for the position, but I applied anyway. In my mind, if I just poured my heart out on this application and do my very best, that maybe the person over the application would see some potential in me and make me an apprentice. Once I clicked “Submit”, I wanted to cry tears of joy. The crippling feeling I felt the last time I applied for a fellowship that I felt grossly unqualified for, I pushed through them.
Well, I didn’t get the position. But I’m grateful. I proved to myself that if it’s something that I really want, I can go for it with no regrets. I want to live my life from this moment on with as little regrets as possible.
Happy New Year! This is pretty much a tradition on my blog as I do a list every year. Some people call it a resolution, but I like to think of my annual lists as something to aspire to in the new year. Now, let me admit two things: 1) I wrote this list on December 21st, and……..I’ve never completed a list before. I know, I know! But this year, I feel that it’s possible. I aimed big. I believe in myself (and in making smaller goals) and this year already feels magical. So, here’s the list!:
- Go skydiving. If you follow this blog long enough, this has always rolled over from year to year. Last year, I had it all set up: I set the date. I got the directions. I even rented a car to drive out to the flight site and then……brick wall. Truth is, I didn’t plan my time better. I had scheduled a mini-vacay during the weekend of my jump; trying to do everything at once. The result: a super tired Tiffany wanting nothing more than to go home. This year will be different.
- Go to one music festival. Last year, going out of town to see Outkast perform live sparked something in me. After missing Prince at Essence and D’Angelo at AfroPunk, I made a pact that I would go to some sort of outdoor music festival. Even if I don’t go out of town to do so, this year I’m making it a priority to get outside and enjoy music.
- Visit two countries. Remember, I created this list on December 21st with one goal in mind; I wanted to travel internationally. To finally step out of the Atlanta-Miami-Vegas matrix and really see the world. I’ve been dreaming of doing it, but it never went past that. Thanks to a Christmas miracle, not only will this be scratched off the list, I’ll be able to scratch it off before my birthday. All I wanted was two countries, and I’m actually visiting two continents!
- Learn French. Because, why not?
- Save $3,000. I did a 52 week money challenge last year where I successfully saved over $1,000 for myself, but I wanted to aim higher. Can I save more? Of course I can! Plus, I’m not just saving for me, I’m also saving for my daughter’s college. So what better challenge to take on.
- Have a spa day. I went to a spa once….and loved it. Having a day dedicated to relaxation and not worrying about bills, deadlines, or even laundry sounds heavenly. I’d love to have these once a month in the near future.
- Find a new job. February of this year, I would have been at my current job for 4 years, and while most people would see this as a blessing and ride it out (I see the blessing in being employed, too), I feel my time here is coming to a close. There’s just somewhere else I need to be, something else I’m suppose to learn, some other way I’m suppose to be of service. I don’t know where it is, but I’m open.
- Get 500 readers on my blog. Vanity? Maybe. I’m looking to grow as a woman and a writer and I’d be honored if I was able to reach this number this year. It’s a lofty goal, I know.
- Buy a cruiser bike. I want one. I want one. I WANT ONE! Always have. It could be a city thing, maybe a dash of a hipster thing. Either way, when the weather gets warm, I want a bike to travel.
- Donate $500 to charity. A carry-over from last year, I would like to give back however I can. I realized that this goal will probably be spread out throughout different organizations, which is fine with me. I’ve also expanded this to include helping fund small businesses as well.
- Weigh 190 lbs. This goal isn’t impossible, because I can do the work necessary to make this a reality. What I’m focused on is the self-sabotaging that I’ve done to have my weight creep back up past the 200s again. Doing the internal work will show in my external and I can’t wait to write about this success.
- Take 13 weekend trips. Re-defining my weekends. Another push to travel more. Three-day weekends especially.
- Get a sew-in weave. Because lazy. Also versatility. Plus, I haven’t had one since I was a teenager, so it would be fun to play with a different look for a while.
- Cook 100 vegan meals. I’ve done the math on this one. I also at the tail end of last year begun to purchase more vegan cookbooks than I could count. My challenge is having the energy to actually cook them. This may have to be a weekend thing *looks at goal #12*…..oh y’all keep me lifted in encouragement.
- Go on 3 vacations. One down, two to go. Again, a way for me to relax and reconnect because my job won’t give me the time off, so I’ll take it for myself.
That’s my list, folks!