Yes, I believe in Mercury Retrograde. Yes, I understand that the planet doesn’t actually “revolve” backwards. Sure, maybe a lot of what happens during those two weeks could all be a figment of my imagination and that I’m “attracting” all of this in my life. But, and smirk all you want to cynic, when Mercury goes backwards, a lot of things go bad for me. Actually, the typical things that’s associated with the retrograde happen to me. But this particular cycle seem to hit me the hardest. In fact, this was one of thee most difficult retrogrades I’ve ever experienced. I’ll just highlight a few.
You want to know how I knew Mercury was in retrograde? Yep, my cell phone started acting crazy. If I wasn’t losing my signal for no reason, the screen would freeze up. At work, my entire Z drive just magically disappeared before my eyes as I was working on a spreadsheet. Text messages would come out of order, phone conversations would be inaudible, and more recently, a slew of social media sites blocking you from posting due to “suspicious activity”. Even when I got home, I couldn’t connect to the wi-fi and most of my movie streaming networks just failed to work properly. Anytime my electronics act up, it gives me another reason to just unplug and unwind. I don’t need to tweet out everything at the moment. I got to journal a lot more and just sit still with no distractions.
You’re always told that during a retrograde, you should give yourself some extra time for traveling (I’ll keep this in mind for my trip…which is the second round of Mercury’s retrograde…..I know, I know). Well, I didn’t take heed to this and suffered greatly. I’ve been in traffic before but these last couple of weeks, some days have just been ridiculous. I also take public transportation and there have been days….DAYS….when the bus just didn’t show up. Literally. There was no bus. I’ve never seen anything like it, especially not consecutively. The silver lining for me with this is I’ve learned to trust my gut. There were some mornings where I just didn’t feel the need to “rush” to get out the house. I took my time because I knew that Mercury was going to do a number on me. While in traffic, I spruced up on my French (thanks, Duolingo!), watched Netflix, and read a book. Traveling during a retrograde teaches me patience all over again and I’m grateful for the lesson.
Every ex you could imagine showed up during this retrograde. Now, this is actually something that’s never happened to me. I’ve only read about how people from your past come back into your life. Some of my exes came up in my thoughts, which of course was annoying because, well, who wants to constantly think about an ex who (if you’re anything like the ones I got) is happily married? Well..there’s a reason for this. During retrograde, when an ex appears back into your life, it’s the time to settle some “karmic debt.” Meaning? Time to forgive, beloved. The person you need to forgive is entirely up to you. For me, the exes that kept coming up in my thoughts for “karmic debt” was for me to finally forgive myself. They weren’t the source of my pain; I was. I didn’t understand how to love another person. I was young. I gave up easily. So the person I really needed to forgive was myself. I would meditate with the ex in mind at the time and would forgive, then release. It felt great…until actual exes started showing up in my physical life. One in particular brought up a lot of past hurt that I thought I had worked through. I just merely pushed it down from my memory because it was too painful to deal with. When he came back, wanting that old thing back, the feelings resurfaced. I have cried so much during this period. It’s really been therapeutic.
So yes, this retrograde has been intense, but it has been the most eye-opening experience I’ve ever had. I’ve become more clear with how I communicate, how I view myself, and others. I’m also glad that today is the last day.