100 Questions: Day 5

Where have I been worrying too much about what others think? 

When I make any life decision.  Removing self-doubt is an aspect of myself that I’m continuing to work on, but I know I’ve come a very long way from where I started.  Growing up with parents like mines, room for error is slim to none.  When mistakes were made, there was always a punishment behind it.  I would raise my hand in peer group meetings to give my opinion, and I would get shot so many ugly stares from others that I eventually stopped talking.  This played a major role in me not trusting myself to make the right decisions.  And then there’s the fear of being wrong.  What if I’m wrong?  What if this isn’t the person I should be in a relationship with?  What if I shouldn’t move to California?  What if I don’t find a better job than this? 

I wanted people for a long time to see me as a woman who had her head on straight.  Who did the right things.  Who made something out of her life.  The more I live, the more I see that the answer to that varies from the person.  Truth is, there’s going to be something that I do that someone won’t like.  My family doesn’t like that I’m traveling solo.  My friends don’t like the restaurants I want to try out.  I’ve even had boyfriends who couldn’t stand that I took up pole classes.  So I could just live for others approval, or I could live my life how I see fit.  In order for me to do the latter, I have to be comfortable with taking risks and making mistakes.  I just have to be.  And that’s what I need to “worry” about.

daughter of cups

Tarot Card of the Day: Daughter of Cups.  Creativity abounds with the daughter of cups. She’s romantic, artistic, and easily inspired by her surroundings. A true dreamer by nature, she struggles to stay “grounded” or to deal with any harsh realities that comes her way.  Conflict of any kind is very disturbing to this gentle creature.

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