Where have I been more focused on how I look, rather than how I feel?
Let me tell you really quick what happened to me at the mall. I was with my parents and in one store, my mom went to go around a woman who was shopping. The woman began to become argumentative with my mom and had the biggest attitude. That moment took me back to when I was 7, and I stood in front of my mom while she argued with a neighbor who let her dog poop on our lawn. I hate conflict of any kind, so in a kid fashion, I cried and screamed for the lady to leave my mom alone, who by then had gotten backup from her two very large and tall nephews. My mom was outnumbered and it wasn’t fair. I remember my dad swooping me up; telling me my mom was okay.
So in that moment, I became that little girl who wanted to protect her mom and I let that woman have it, verbally. I was so wrapped up in being right and “winning” an argument with a complete and utter stranger that I ignored every nerve in my body tensing up; begging for me to calm down. I didn’t want to. I’m an adult and I wasn’t about to let her get the last word. My mom told me to let it go. That she was okay. But I wasn’t. I wanted to protect her, but all I was protecting was my pride. Protecting against a woman I’ll never see again in life.
Being “right” isn’t worth me losing my cool.
Tarot Card of the Day: Two of Pentacles. A card of inevitable change. Even if you fear change, it needs to happen and it’ll be fun. Face it with the grace of a newly formed butterfly.