100 Questions: Day 9 

What am I committed to changing? 

If you believe in the supernatural, then what I’m about to say makes a lot of sense. If you don’t, then you’ll wonder where I’m going with this. Either way, here it goes. 

In the middle of the night, I heard a voice…and I don’t mean in the “somebody is talking in their sleep” way. In fact, I’ve heard this voice before. It’s a man’s voice and I’ve only heard him once before, but it still yielded the same response. The dream that I’m having will immediately stop and there will be no noises; as if this voice wants me to hear him loud and clear. The first time, he said “You bitch!” and I was shocked out of my sleep. Last night, this same voice kept saying “Death”. Immediately, the fear that I had came flooding into my mind. I tried to not think about it, but it was as if someone opened a latch on the door I was keeping that fear and it just came flooding in. It was so intense that I started choking. Finally, I shot straight up in bed and everything went calm. 

Now, I say this for a reason (I hope this is coming full circle). I know that death is a part of life, but I’ve never been afraid of death. What terrifies me is the afterlife; mostly the whole “eternity” bit. Logically, I begin to process that even when I physically die, my spirit keeps living on and then it just a long drop down a rabbit hole and I go into full panic attack mode.  That has to change, but what? Releasing my fear of the unknown? Coming to terms with the afterlife? I wish I had a clear answer today, but I don’t. 

  

Tarot Card of the Day: Judgement. Don’t take the word “judgement” at face value. This card concerns itself with seeking the truth. No more blaming yourself or others, no more excuses. Now is the time for forgiveness and personal freedom. The card is asking you to rise up, let pettiness and fear fall below you.  Expand your wings. Be reborn. 

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