100 Questions: Day 14

What signs have I been misinterpreting or ignoring? 

I do this often in relationships: I make excuses for the red flags and intuition. The latest was HomieLoverFriend, who I was dating for over a year. In the last half year, he would rag on himself severely; constantly taking about how he wasn’t relationship material. All signs pointed me to exit but I didn’t; rather I told myself that I’ve been there before and I just have to be patient while he works through it. 

He never worked through it. I always felt he was looking for an excuse to not fully commit to me and when I would ask why we weren’t in an exclusive relationship, I felt his resistance. He would become defensive and combative. Still, I ignored the warnings he gave me. So I stepped away for no more than 24 hours and I’m getting texts from him telling me that since he hadn’t heard from me that I must’ve moved on from him. Crazy, but I still made excuses and accepted his irratical behavior. Until one day, I got tired of doing so. 

What was I trying to prove?  What did I gain from keeping someone like this in my life? I didn’t fully trust my instincts and didn’t want to be wrong about him.  But it’s been weeks since we’ve spoken and the peace that I feel lets me know that my decision to leave him alone was the correct one. 

  

Tarot Card of the Day: The Hermit. In society, we frown upon being a “hermit”. In the tarot realm, they are the most celebrated and valued creature. Through solitude, stillness, and meditation they bring wisdom to all. This card is telling you to step back from the business of day to day life and focus on your inner realm. Become more self-aware. Your inner fire is waiting to be lit. 

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