100 Questions: Day 37

What long-term success am I working to create? 

I looked at this question and immediately went to the physical; more specifically professional success and immediately got sad. I tried seeing how I wanted my life to look in 20-30 years and it was just black. I couldn’t see that far, even with my overactive imagination.  My whole life, I was told that I was unfocused and that I needed to “grow up.” Truth is, I never felt compelled to be fixed on one career for my whole life; figured Life was too grand and vast to do just ONE thing all my life. 

So I go directly to my personal realm and the answer popped up immediately: being comfortable in my own skin. That includes but not limited to trusting my gut and standing up for myself.  I’m slowly becoming a reformed People Pleaser, but I get stuck on this Team Player kick; especially when I’m sacrificing my happiness for the sake of the team. This is very apparent at my current job where I have cancelled dates, skipped out on mommy-daughter time, even forgoe sleep to work extra shifts at work. Lately, one of my co-workers consistently takes off on weekends and weekdays, leaving me and one other person to pick up his slack. Today, I realized I’m not having it. 

I’m working towards being okay with me and the decisions I make for myself. I have a big heart so I do take others into consideration. However, I have to get comfortable with me. Also in this umbrella, working to love who looks back at me in the mirror. 

Tarot Card of the Day: Ace of Swords (another favorite of mines). When lightning strikes, the whole world seems to light up for just one second. It’s as though you can “see everything” and this vision lingers on even through the storm. Such is the power of the Ace of Swords. Your mind will become clear, your thoughts precise. A great time to make those decisions you’ve been putting off. 

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