100 Questions: Day 41

What situation in my life turned out to be a blessing in disguise? 

The day I got rejected for Financial Aid. The moment I got denied, the whole world got quiet. I couldn’t hear anything; even though I’m sure the advisor was asking me a slew of questions as I was walking out. I just knew I didn’t want to cry over what this “no” meant: that I had to drop out of college. What happened next was a snowball effect. I lost my job, ended a relationship, and moved back home. 

So where was the blessing? When I was in college, my major was okay but it wasn’t my choice. It was my parent’s choice. My relationship was okay and my ex was a good man, but I wasn’t happy towards the end. I wanted marriage to keep some form of comfort. I wasn’t thrilled about going home, but I had a daughter who I barely knew and she resented me greatly for leaving her. Who I was was the making of other people. My identity had collapsed and it sent me into a deep depression. 

That darkness helped me see the light. Had I not been uprooted, I would’ve kept living for others instead of myself. I would’ve resented the ones I love instead of being comfortable with being myself. I wouldn’t have even bothered being on this spiritual journey that I’m on now. By shedding everything I was told to be, I’ve been given the room to be who I’ve always wanted to be. 

Tarot Card of the Day: Strength. It’s common to think of this card as the roaring, devouring side of the lion. But look again….the “strength” this card suggests is a much deeper force that’s found within. The lion represents our most patient, composed self. He’s the master of focus, compassion, and self control. When this card comes up, you’re in need of harnessing this power for yourself. All the courage you need can be found in the heart. 

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