100 Questions: Day 48

How have I been cheating on my future by thinking thoughts of my past? 

The person I see myself becoming is comfortable saying what’s on her mind and how she feels. Trying to be everything to everybody has made me resentful and burnt out. I want to be more of a free-flowing, free-spirited woman. But there’s a hesitation there. I’ve been everything that everybody else wanted…but what if they don’t want the real me? 

In my past, who I was…my truest self….was ridiculed, teased, and criticized often. I believe that’s why I took to acting so well; I can pretend to be someone else because who I really am isn’t good enough. I struggle to shake that notion, and often I catch myself feeling less than whenever I meet a new guy or don’t perform so well at work or cancel plans with friends. 

I’m still trying to be my most authentic self. 

Tarot Card of the Day: Ten of Wands. The Ten of Wands is a difficult card to face. Mental or physical burdens have been weighing on your spirit. Over time this leads to hopelessness and depression. You simply can’t “get through” to what you want. You can’t see the way. 

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