100 Questions: Day 59

Where can I be more unapologetic about what brings me joy? 

There’s a weird thing that happened when I had my daughter and maybe this is a generational mindset, but my mom became increasingly upset with my definition of motherhood. Now, I know this is a subject that has been discussed far and wide, inside and out. Still, we view things very differently. 

See, my mom comes from the mindset that you sacrifice everything for your children. Your hopes, your dreams, your aspirations must be buried in order for your children to have all that they need. I’m much different. I believe you can have and be all, while raising your child. When you’re happy, your family is happy. Take care of yourself so that you can be full to take care of those around you. So with our two different backgrounds, we clash. 

Whether it’s me meeting friends for dinner or buying myself some much needed pair of shoes, my mother has criticized me; wondering what I’ve done for my daughter. In fact, her favorite saying is, “Did you even think about your daughter when you bought this?” Yes, I did because I talk to her daily. What my mom failed to see is when I’m out with friends at dinner, I call my daughter to ask what she would like for me to bring home. Those shoes I bought? Yeah, my daughter gets a shirt or a new video game. 

Now with my birthday trip (if you’re reading this, I’m loving Paris right about now. Just trust me on this!) I have been called selfish and should be ashamed of myself for “not thinking once about anyone but myself.” I won’t. I refuse to apologize or made to feel guilty about enjoying my life. With the recent string of deaths by the hands of the very people sworn to protect us, I can and will enjoy this life as long as I’m here. In fact, I’m inspiring my daughter to do the same and I won’t ever apologize for that. 


Tarot Card of the Day: Ten of Pentacles. The Ten of Pentacles signifies material and spiritual abundance in nearly every area of your life. The number ten usually indicates completion, and in this case the journey was well worth it. So be generous, not only with your money but also with your wisdom. Provide guidance to those who struggle. You will be rewarded tenfold. 

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