100 Questions: Day 63

What stories am I telling that’s holding me back? 

Today, I had an amazing five course lunch with a woman I met through an online traveling group. We were both single, Black women traveling internationally and between courses, we had the best conversation. We swapped itineraries and I just sat back and listened to everything that she’s done and what she plans to do. I felt small in comparison; she had seen and done so much where I have been content chillin in the local parts of South Africa. 

So me and my ego took it upon ourselves to act as if I’m above a tourist destination. That I just “go with the flow” and hate rigid scheduling. But why? After spending time with her and listening to her explain her experience, I took a look at myself. This whole narrative of being a wannabe bohemian who moves like the wind is, at times, a cover up for me being so stubborn and stuck in my ways, that I won’t even give the other side a chance. Then I go deeper, and I’m afraid to disappoint people. 

Friends expect me to take lots of pictures and I’m a person who gets caught up in a moment. I’m rarely on my phone while I’m out and when I am, I don’t know what to take pictures of. The speech on being flexible is cool, but I also miss out on the balance of having a plan. If it’s the failure my plans may fall through…well, I need to get over that, don’t I? 

  
Tarot Card of the Day: Ten of Cups. The Ten of Cups overflows with positivity. Your goals are being realized and the excitement surrounding you is magnetic to others. You feel as though light or color radiates outward from you…almost like you’re shining. Experience sensations like this with an open and joyful heart. Don’t doubt this power. 

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