What have I denied myself that I really want?
Editor’s Note: Yes, I’m starting this back up, or rather…I’m here to finish what I started. My thoughts have been all over the place lately and thanks to the morning meditation I’ve been (consistently) doing, I feel more centered and ready to answer these questions again. Also, with bringing back me answering questions, I will be replacing the Tarot Card of the Day, for an Adventure Card of the Day. Courtesy of the deck I was gifted with: Anywhere Travel Guide. So, on to today’s answer!
I want to live a life that I love. A life that feels right for me, not one that looks good to others. And sitting here, I realized that I’ve denied myself that simple pleasure because of how uncomfortable it made other people. My trip to South Africa was something for me, but it made my parents anxious. I use to explore the city all the time; going into random restaurants, strolling around. I stopped doing that for a few reasons: the guy I was dating at the time hated any form of change and the downtown area even more, and I just stopped enjoying taking the Metro home late at night. I started telling myself over and over, “you’ll go to that restaurant next week when you get some money” or “we’ll see what the weather is like”. I love to indulge, be it on a small or large scale. I’m a firm believer that life is meant to be enjoyed…and here I am, denying the one thing I believe in. I love traveling. I love live music. Eating with my hands. I love laughter. Watching the sun rise and set over each new day. Driving with no destination in mind. To enjoy sweets without worrying about how the scale won’t tip in my favor. These are just a few things I really want. So, I have to work on getting them. Regardless of how it makes anyone feel.