How can I be more honest with those who are close to me?
You ever hear the saying, “You have to show people how to treat you?” Well, I would like to build on that just a teeny bit to include that how you treat others could be a mirror in how you treat yourself. What are some of the reasons why we aren’t 100% authentic to the people closest to us? I have a few reasons:
- We fear isolation from the collective. As much as individuality is “celebrated”, what actually is accepted is the norm.
- The very real fear of rejection. By being honest with people, there is a possibility that they are not open or won’t be receptive to your honesty. So in an attempt to keep them in your life, you shield certain truths.
- Going against social and cultural norms (if that’s what your honesty does) is a dangerous but courageous act. Most people lack the confidence and support (see point #2) to carry out such an act.
So…what does that list have to do with you? My theory is that the first person we start lying to in life is ourselves. We say, “No one will understand why I like Friends and Future” or that in telling the truth the way we perceive it, that it’ll alienate the very people we desire to be our most authentic self. Honesty starts with yourself. It’s not whining or complaining to tell yourself, “I’m not okay today”.
The way I see being more honest with others is first being comfortable with being honest with myself. Even when its uncomfortable.