What recent situation do I blame myself for?
This past weekend, I had an inevitable fallout with a very close friend that actually took place in the course of three days. See, we find ourselves in similar situations in the sense that we both lost our jobs and have to start over. Where I’m more of a regroup and refresh person, she likes to go out to bars and to “get away” from the issues. Recently, I have been super careful about the money I spend. Basically, I’m becoming a hoarder which stems from a fear of being without (but you could see that, now couldn’t you?). So everytime she has asked me to go out with her, a part of me wanted to be her friend in need, while the sensible person wants to save my last paycheck to pay off my bills. Needless to say, she’s become very annoyed with me completely flaking out at the last minute.
Sunday was going to be the day we hung out and enjoy a live concert. It sold out within minutes of going on sale, so for weeks we had discussed what we would do that day. So the day of the concert, we both ended up doing exactly what we usually do. For me, it was getting to the venue early enough to stand in line (because it was general admission) to get some great seats. I prepared for my friend to be late because this particular artist isn’t her favorite, but she’ll go along with it anyway. But during my time in the venue, I befriended the people who surrounded me; they became my friends for the evening. We laughed, took shots, and when the concert started (and no word from my friend), we enjoyed the show. I was around people who had the same passion and love for seeing this artist that I did. My friend overbooked herself with an interview within hours of the concert, which afterwards she made other stops along the way. She made plans to see the people she wanted to see and did the things she wanted to do and then decided to come to the concert, which by that time the venue was not only packed, but it was closed. I informed her via a text and since then, she’s been posting not-so subtle posts about it on social media.
I won’t say that I blame myself for the rift that has occurred between us, however I do take responsibility for not being upfront and honest about how I was feeling and what I was going through. What eventually happened on Sunday was a culmination of previous mistakes being held against me (and righfully so). I have accepted my fault in this. I have also accepted that we will see this situation completely different. Both of us are right….and wrong. Only time will tell if we’ll mend our relationship but given the recent post, time is what it’ll take.