100 Questions: Day 89

Where have I allowed “No” to stop me? 

A very interesting conversation came up this morning about crushes. More specifically, why you wouldn’t approach someone that you like. I remember the first and last time I approached a guy I liked.

After spending much of my middle school years letting guys approach me and being comfortable with “crushes”, in high school I was determined to be bold and fearless and go after the object of my affection: a tall, lanky basketball player named Omar. I knew the day he came into the cafeteria that day that we would be a couple and he’d buy me balloons and flowers just because he knew they were my favorite, and we would be the “it” freshmen couple. I was convinced Omar would be my high school sweetheart. So one day, when we were both in the hallway, alone, together…I felt this was my moment. I stopped him and told him that I was attracted to him. His response? He touched my shoulder and said, “Okay.”

aubrey parks

I was crushed and even though no one was around, I was humiliated. I had put myself in a vulnerable situation and my feelings weren’t reciprocated. I didn’t know how to handle the rejection because up until that point, I had never been rejected. I was the one doing the rejecting.  That “no” withdrew me from ever approaching a guy again, which I have maintained to this day. But that “no” didn’t just stop me from approaching a guy that I like for a fear that he’d be lukewarm to my advances. That “no” stopped so much more than that. It stopped me from taking risks and going after what it is that I truly desired.  The word “no” made me doubt myself and my decision making. But I’ve decided that “no” can actually be reminder that I was brave enough to go after something I desired.

dancing

“No” can be a setback, sure! And in the proper context, “no” can be beneficial. But “no” shouldn’t be the end all, be all. “No” shouldn’t make you doubt yourself or what you bring to the table. So….don’t let the “no” discourage you anymore. I know I won’t.

 

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