100 Questions: Day 91

What promise can I keep to myself? 

Does simply saying that I promise to keep my promises count? Probably not, so here I go…

 

Since I was laid off from work, I have dedicated that time to really getting back into the things I’ve been missing out on. Being tied to a desk for 8 hours, a 90 minute commute both ways, and home chores after work left little to no room for any other pleasures in life, let alone the desire to. Year after year, I would see a movie trailer that I wanted to check out and I would constantly “promise” myself that I would go, only to find myself months later scouring through Netflix for the movie. I’ve seen flyers for concerts and events I wanted to attend, only to watch them vicariously from Instagram or YouTube clips on blogs. I got tired of breaking promises to friends, family, and myself. All because I was too tired to do anything  else but stay in and catch up on sleep.

sleep

But why was I so tired? I treat sleep as a necessity in my life; religiously committing to 7 hours of sleep every night. It wasn’t until I was laid off that I realized that my job was draining me physically. Yes, I had my own office, but I had no windows. The demand of my job and my boss promising clients that I would “always be there” made me a permanent fixture at my office. I couldn’t go to the bathroom without someone calling my former boss to complain that I wasn’t at my desk at the precise moment that they needed me, even going as far as to fabricate the length of time that I was missing. I love the freedom and independence that my job provided initially, but soon came to realize that I was at the mercy of fickle guests and temperamental management. I knew that I needed to get out of my rut and add what I love into my life (taking time away from work, go to the movies, see a show, ect.) but that’s not the only promise I needed to make to myself.

lauren

In addition to me finally getting back to what I love and having the breathing room to do so, I’m making a promise to do my career differently. I promise to apply to jobs that I know I will thrive in. Jobs that will give me the freedom and independence that I need. I also feel the need to add this promise in as well:

When the job no longer serves your higher purpose or only feeds your bank account, promise that you won’t be afraid to leave it behind. I promise to pick myself up and trust that something better will come along. 

I know to some this sounds impossible and even foolish, considering the job market and real-life responsibilities. However, I’ve settled for my last job. I promise you that.

 

 

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